Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
