I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
