so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Holy sore nipples Batman
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
