Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
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I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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