I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
