I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
