exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize