So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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