Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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