we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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