he shaved USA in his pubs
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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