You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
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Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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