I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
