OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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