It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
