Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
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he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize