I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
FUCK WHALES
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
