last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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