Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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