when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
