I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
