fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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