That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
