don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize