Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is Oprah even human
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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