sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize