life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
