Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
