You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
