It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This is my gift to your gina
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
