2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
