This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
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Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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