And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
