i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
