so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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