I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
