i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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