I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
