Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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