when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize