i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
