Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize