I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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