yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
