singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
