4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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