dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
