If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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