i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize