I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Two words: nipple clamps
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