Me too!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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