I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
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Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize