Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
