I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
