If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
