the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Your penis caused this!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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