I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
