I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
