Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
