She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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