Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
